Week 424 (brendan@brendanbarca.com)

Here's your weekly dose of Fuel Your Mind Friday where I share business building ideas, lifestyle design hacks, and inspirational content to help you thrive in your work and find purpose in your life.

---

PSA: My wife and I have another blog called The Daily Buddhist that comes out every Wednesday. Subscribe here OR follow us on IG!

---

HOW TO EARN TRUST WHEN YOU CAN'T SPEAK THE LINGO

​

Two years ago I went with my wife, Pema’s, to visit her mom in Kathmandu, Nepal. As a kid who grew up in the suburbs of Boston, going to Nepal served as a wonderful shock to the system. On the other side of the planet, in a remote city like Kathmandu, things are quite different. The people, the stores, the landscape, the traffic, the religions, and the languages are all beautiful reminders of the cultural diversity of our planet.

One of the biggest challenges on the trip was my inability to speak the local language of Nepali or any of the other regional languages like Hindi, Tibetan, or Sherpa. This made communication with Pema’s mother, sister-in-law, nephew, neighbors, taxi drivers and shop keepers an obstacle.

On the trip, and throughout our relationship, Pema has been kind enough to be my translator. But I’ve found that I can’t get by on this alone. While it’s uncomfortable not knowing the local language and having countless conversations go over your head, I’ve learned how to make friends and earn trust through other means.

In this post, I wanted to share four techniques I’ve adopted to make friends, earn trust, and communicate effectively when you can’t speak the same language. Even if you never find yourself in Kathmandu, or any city where they don’t speak your language, I hope the below techniques will help you to communicate effectively and earn people’s trust in all circumstances.

​

4 Lessons from Nepal: Earning Trust when You Can't Speak the Lingo

​

1- Your Energy Matters

When put in an uncomfortable situation, it’s easy to feel nervous. When we feel nervous, we try to protect ourselves by putting on our armor which prevents our authentic self from shining through. This is a mistake and will often lead to awkward smiles, shyness, and create distance between us and the other person.

Instead, we must lean into the situation. We need to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. Since we can’t speak their language, our positive energy must lead the way. Everyone can feel your energy no matter what language they speak. So, the next time you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, take a breath, be calm, and let your energy speak for you even if you can’t speak for yourself.

​

2- Pay Attention to Physical Cues

When I find myself with Pema’s family at the dinner table, I don’t bother trying to keep up with the Nepali words that fly around the room. Instead, I’ve learned to follow the stories, arguments, and jokes by paying attention to the physical cues of those around me.

I watch their hand motions, their posture, the widening of their eyes, how their lips curl, and how much of their teeth they show. I become like a poker player who can’t see their cards but, by focusing on their physical cues, can still get a read on how the hand will play out. Whether you’re in a board room, in an interview, or on a Zoom call, watch the physical cues of the person across from you. This will often tell you more about them and what they’re thinking than the words that spill from their mouth.

​

3- Show Respect

If you are in a new culture, whether it be a new country, household, or company, you must be respectful in order to earn respect. Every culture that’s existed before you entered into it, already has its own cultural norms and ways of doing things. You can’t come in and disrupt its flow. If you do, you will likely be cast out.

The best way I’ve found to show respect to a new culture is to listen, observe, and find a mentor who you can ask questions and receive guidance from. In Nepal, my mentor is Pema. In the office, maybe your mentor is a senior colleague. At the beginning, be quiet, be humble and show respect. Keep in mind that you don’t know how things are done in this new culture. Then when the moment is right, ask your mentor for guidance on how to act in this new world.

​

4- Smile!

Perhaps the easiest way to earn trust, win friends, and convey positive energy is by smiling. When traveling abroad, greeting someone on a sales call, or networking with new people, I set the intention to smile before I do anything else. I don’t use a wide teeth-bearing smile as if someone told a joke. But rather, I just flip the corner of my lips up and make that my lead into the interaction.

In Nepal, whenever I was speaking to Pema’s mother or exchanging a look with a stranger on the street, I tried to make the effort to smile in this manner. And you know what reaction I got nine times out of ten? I got a smile in return. Just like that, without saying a word to each other, we became friendly. They sensed my good nature and I sensed theirs. To win friends, earn trust, influence people, and communicate with strangers, the simplest thing is to smile.

​

Whether you are traveling abroad, climbing in your career, or simply trying to build relationships in your personal life, these four techniques may help you earn trust, build rapport and communicate effectively.

I’ve learned from my travels that there is a universal language of kindness, positivity, and respect that has far greater power than any local dialect.

Lean into that power.

​

...

Thanks for subscribing,

- Brendan

​Let's connect on LinkedIn!

​brendanbarca.com​

...

​

PSA: My wife and I have another blog called The Daily Buddhist that comes out every Wednesday. 🙏 Subscribe here 🙏